Best Man speech jokes which are actually funny | Stephen Coleclough
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Best Man speech jokes which are actually funny

One part of any wedding day that the guests look forward to are the speeches and of all the speeches, the one with the most pressure to perform is the best man.

Some best man speeches hit the nail on the head and are 5-10 minutes to remember.

However, there are some that miss the mark and are not quite the memorable moment that the bride and groom were hoping for.

With so much pressure on the best man, it comes as no surprise that they are going to want to try their best to find ways to make their speech as funny as possible.

Which means heading to the internet for inspiration.

If you are a best man who is suffering with writer’s block when trying to put their speech together, then you might want to have a look at our best man speech jokes which are actually funny.

1. It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers

2. We’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the groom shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth. That’s right, I have been asked to give the drink’s bill.

3. All those amongst you who know (THE BRIDE) will know that she is a wonderful, kind and caring person. Which means that she deserves a good husband. Thank god that (THE GROOM) married her before she found one.

4. (BRIDE) please put your left hand flat on the table (GROOM) please put your hand on top of hers. Enjoy this moment (GROOM) as this is the first and last time in your marriage that you’ll have the upper hand.

5. I recognise my place here; a best man is similar to a dead body at a funeral. Of course you expect it to be there, but if you start saying too much then people will freak out.

6. Now I did ask for microphone but was told that one wasn’t available. So, if you can’t hear me at the back, then the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing out on anything.

7. You have no idea how much I have been looking forward to today. After all the time that we have been friends, (GROOM) has finally had to admit that I am the best man.

8. We all know that (BRIDE) is a great lady who deserves the perfect guy. Too bad that not everyone gets what they deserve.

There are so many jokes that you can work into your best man speech, you just need to make sure that they are right for the tone of the wedding and that the bride and groom won’t be too angry with you by the end of it (although maybe just a little bit).

As you can see, there are so many jokes out there that you can definitely make sure that your speech goes off with a bang.

Just make sure that you don’t put too much pressure on yourself, a nervous best man is one that is never going to enjoy their moment in the spotlight and that is a real shame.

Stephen Coleclough
Stephen Coleclough

Stephen Coleclough is one of the UK's premier wedding DJs and the winner of multiple industry awards and accolades. His favourite wedding song? Love Shack of course - a guaranteed floor filler! You can find him on Twitter at

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